Welcome to G. Murray Thomas
Living the Sundown
Book Release Party
Thursday, November 14, 5 pm
Spirit Room
139 State St., Rochester, NY
Author G. Murray Thomas will read from and discuss his memoir of caring for his parents.
Special guest bluesman Son Henry will open the show. He and Thomas will improvise some poetry/music collaborations to close the show.
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In 2018, Southern California poet G. Murray Thomas moved back to upstate New York to care for his aging parents, both of whom suffered from dementia. Living the Sundown is based on Thomas’s blog posts from this time. It tells the story with compassion and humor, and dives deep into the gritty details of such a responsibility, showing how it is both challenging and rewarding. Anyone who is, has been, or anticipates being in a similar situation will find the book informative, relatable, and moving.
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What people have to say about Living the Sundown:
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Some 40 years ago, a Christian minister advised me that nothing in life prepares you for the death of a parent. At the same time, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s groundbreaking book On Death and Dying became the how-to guide for coping with the AIDS epidemic. Since the 1980s, the body of literature comprised of memoirs, biographies, novels, poetry, and historical accounts (including Dr. Oliver Sacks’ two volumes concerning his own imminent demise) has made us a better-informed public when it comes to facing the inevitable. We can now add to this collection poet G. Murray Thomas’ Living The Sundown—an insightful, loving, but unsentimental account of caring for his parents who both suffered from dementia. The reader moves with Thomas into his parents’ home in isolated, upstate Naples, New York to take up the demanding, frustrating, and exhausting duties of caregiving . . . right on the eve of the 2020 COVID lockdown. With clear eyes and remarkable patience and empathy, Thomas walks a daily tightrope between encroaching physical and mental decline and sustaining as much normalcy and continuity as possible for his father Woodlief and his mother Merrillan. He notes daily the sobering hallmarks as Merrillan and Woodlief lose touch with their abilities and memories. He also offers practical advice for getting your family’s legal act together, finding competent help, how to deal with the lifetime of family stuff, selling the family home, and more. Importantly, he stresses staying fully in the present at all times. It is the best way to preserve your sanity when things go south. Prepared or not (and Thomas came prepared for this dance with his professional experience as a caregiver for people with disabilities), most of us will face shouldering the care for our elders, and eventually someone will shoulder that care for us. It is always better to be prepared, which is why this family chronicle is a must-read for all. Enhanced with Thomas’ poetic reactions to the process (expressed in Japanese forms), Merrillan’s drawings, and Woodlief’s photography, the book offers a rich portrait of a loving family of gifted people doing their best under cruel pressures. Even as one family’s story, Living The Sundown is a necessary contribution toward a humanities about the end of life. It is also G. Murray Thomas’ finest book.
--Amelie Frank, Beyond Baroque Literary Center
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Manuals for caregivers exist, but Thomas is offering something much more: an honest account of the trials, tribulations, and treasures one receives when you upend your own life to care for the people who have always cared for you. … The mix of poetry and prose elevates this memoir and it becomes an unexpected artistic retreat when the reader needs it most.
—Raundi Kondo-Moore, Writer/Coach at For The Love Of Words Creative Writing Collective
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Through retrospective prose, blog posts, and poetry, Mr. Thomas shares the details of being his parents' caregiver for their last years. He does it in a very personal way, including his father's photos and his mother's sketches, explaining how dementia gradually took over their personalities and abilities. By necessity, he became a responder, not a creator, and staying past their deaths and the selling of their home was his choice.
This book is a must-read for anyone facing or dealing with a loved one suffering from dementia. It will let you know that someone else has gone through what you are and that all emotions involved are legitimate. You will learn that it is a love-filled, roller-coaster life experience.
--Sue Spitulnik, President Lilac City Rochester Writers
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A chronicle of sundowns versus sunbursts while caring for aging parents with Alzheimer´s syndrome and dementia, written by a kidney transplant patient confronting his own mortality. Murray Thomas faces the conundrum, how does doing something out of love turn into feeling as if it is done out of duty. Can duty be an act of love?
​--Pamela Adams Hirst, publisher Beatlick Press
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Living The Sundown is a touching, detailed, “real-time” look at caregiving for your loved one(s) with Alzheimer’s/Dementia. G. Murray Thomas approaches this subject with compassion, empathy, love and a fair amount of light hearted humor and whimsy (All things necessary for this type of work or responsibility). Thomas has created a wonderful companion for anyone going through this or thinking of taking on such an important responsibility. A great book and a wonderfully touching read.
-- James D. Potter, Former Certified Dementia Care Specialist
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Living the Sundown is now available to order from Amazon.